


John and the Case of the Ugly Christmas Jumper

by erisgregory



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: A bit on the crack side, Christmas, First Kiss, Future Fic, M/M, Post Mary, Ugly Holiday Sweaters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 16:12:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8720302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erisgregory/pseuds/erisgregory
Summary: It's time for the Yard's Christmas party, but Sherlock isn't going as long as John is wearing THAT jumper.





	

“You’re really going out like that?” Sherlock’s face crumpled in disgust as John walked in.

“Like what?” John looked down at his clothes in confusion. It’s not as if his socks were mismatched or his fly undone.

“Like that. Like one of those people.” Sherlock flapped his hand up and down in John’s general direction while putting far too much emphasis on the word,  _ those _ .

“Sherlock, I really have no idea what you’re on about right now so if you could try and be a bit more specific it might speed things up. Otherwise we’ll be late to the party.” John shifted his weight from one foot to the other and tried for a more dominant stance.

The Yard’s Christmas party was something they normally skipped, but this year Sherlock was determined they were keeping the majority of cheer making and holiday nonsense out of Baker Street so that meant going to this party to see their friends for Christmas or skipping the day altogether. John was fairly certain Sherlock would have been happy to skip it entirely but John had pressed him to make nice. Except now he wasn’t being nice at all. He was staring, in fact, and John was beginning to take offense.

“Sherlock. You’re not saying anything. You do know that yeah?” John felt his jaw clenching and tried to relax, but Sherlock looked so put out with him it was hard not to react. He still didn’t even know why!

“Your. Jumper.” Sherlock gritted the words out and John had to take a step back they were said with such vehemence.

To be fair, John knew Sherlock hated most of his wardrobe, so this shouldn’t be a surprise. On the other hand Sherlock had gone and pissed him off about it so now John felt just petty enough to snap at him.

“And what exactly is wrong with my jumper?” He asked, both eyebrows going up as he waited for a response.

Sherlock finally turned away, but then he turned right back and marched across the room so he could tower over John as he spoke. “You. Jumper. Is. Hideous.”

John looked right up at him and crossed his arms. “Oh. Is that all?”

“No. It is not. Your jumper is malodorous. It’s heinous. It’s an affront to polite society. It’s made of cheap wool and artificial fibers, the color could blind someone, and it smells like you bought it at a run down gas station fro a man named Earl who swore it was handmade. It’s not, by the way, it’s mass produced swill.”

Sherlock finally took a breath and John was just about to say something in defense of his perfectly respectable Christmas jumper when Sherlock continued. 

“I won’t be seen with you in that ugly jumper. I can’t be seen with you in that thing!” The word,  _ thing _ , was punctuated by Sherlock flicking one of the reindeer noses on the front of John’s jumper.

 

“Oh really? I suppose I should just take it off then, because you asked so nicely!” John knew this was ridiculous. They shouldn’t be fighting over his damn jumper, but they were and it felt so much better than all the weird tension that had been circling the both of them since John moved back in. It felt great in fact to have something to channel all of his frustration into.

“Yes, I would consider it a favor. Thank you. My eyes particularly could use the break!” Sherlock was yelling now. If Mrs. Hudson had been home she’d likely already be heading up the stairs. Thankfully she was out.

John stared at Sherlock in shock for only a moment before he was ripping the damn jumper off and throwing it a Sherlock’s face. “There! Anything else I can do for you?”

Sherlock caught the jumper and stood holding it, his own face a mirror of the shock that John was wearing. And then the most surprising thing of all happened. He started to laugh.

Not even a little laugh either. Within seconds he was doubled over full out belly laughing and John couldn’t help but join him.

God they were a pair of idiots.

“Oh John, your face!” Sherlock huffed the words out between giggles.

“You should see your face! I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so surprised!” John fell back against his chair and sat roughly down onto the arm. His stomach hurt he was laughing so hard, but at the same time it felt incredible.

“You stripped because I told you to!” Sherlock was finally starting catch his breath.

“You’re an asshole,” John didn’t mean to sound so affectionate, but whatever. He felt so much better, like a weight had been lifted off his chest. And Sherlock looked like he felt the same way.

“I’m sorry I hate your jumper.” Sherlock said, his hand over his heart. He was standing much closer now. Then he leaned down to pick up the offending article and passed it to John.

“Oh wow. Are you saying I can wear it now?” John teased as he took it from Sherlock. There was no way he’d be able to wear it out in public now, but he wasn’t going to say that.

“No. No way. Actually, please don’t? For me. We’ll call it your Christmas gift to me. Please never put this thing on again.” Sherlock scrunched his face in an imitation of sincerity as he spoke.

“Oh my god. Did you just say, please?” John laughed and tossed the jumper over his shoulder. “Merry Christmas, you giant arse.”

Sherlock was looking down at him and John couldn’t look anywhere else. A little bit of that tension was creeping back and John was certainly not going to overthink it right now. Not with Sherlock looking so happy. He didn’t care what he might feel, he just wanted to keep that look on Sherlock’s face for as long as possible.

“You can give me one more thing, John, and this Christmas would be perfect.” He said leaning just a little closer.

“Oh?” That may have come out a little more breathlessly than intended.

“Don’t make me go to this thing. I hate it already.” He pleaded.

John laughed and shook his head.

“I can’t believe you're begging off all of it now.”

“You’ll be miserable too, I promise. Let’s stay here and order Chinese food and watch those awful shows you like. We’ll break open the wine Molly gave us and it’ll be perfect.” Sherlock was begging and it was quite a sight to see.

God, John was such a fool for him. “Fine, fine, but you have to text Lestrade and tell him.”

“Already done.”

“You mean before right now? You knew you were going to talk me out of it? God I am an idiot!” John rolled his eyes in utter wonder of the situation.

Sherlock just chuckled. “Well, to be fair I had a different plan. I had no idea you’d come down dressed in that thing.”

“Oh really, and what was that?” John asked, honestly curious.

“Look up.” Sherlock told him softly.

John looked up. He sat there a moment trying to get his bearings again because it felt like gravity was shifting sideways and he might fall off the chair. He was looking up at mistletoe.

“Is that supposed to be funny?” He asked.

“Not at all. I believe it is commonly known to be rather romantic.” Sherlock’s voice was much quieter now. “Unless you think it’s funny and then I’ll take it down and we can go to the party and pretend I have a much better grasp on reality than this.”

“Ah. No. No. It’s not funny.” John stuttered as he stood back up. “It’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen. I just can’t believe I’m seeing it.

“It’s even more romantic, I’m told, when you kiss under it.” Sherlock prompted. He sounded so carefully hopeful that it was painful to hear him. John had to make him understand that he felt exactly the same way.

“Maybe you should kiss me, then.” He breathed the words more than said them.

Sherlock stopped looking up and finally met his eyes. They held each other in that charged gaze only a second longer before they were moving together. Lips brushed against lips. So tenderly, gently, both of them easing past old fears and hesitations, meeting together in the middle until Sherlock cupped John’s face between his hands and slotted their mouths together more forcefully, and the world was swept away.

John didn’t know how long they explored each other through the kiss, but his lips tingled with it when they both finally came up for air.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” Sherlock admitted. He still had his arms around John.

“I had no idea. I did too, but I thought you didn’t ever…” John started.

Sherlock interrupted him with a sly smile. “You were no better telling everyone you weren’t gay.”

“I had issues. I’ over them, I swear.” John assured him.

“I know. That’s why I thought it was now or never, as they say.” Sherlock sighed, but it was a happy sound.

“Still.” John said, taking a step back and looking up at Sherlock. “You were planning to seduce me but you picked a fight with me over my jumper instead. You realize that was bad planning on your part, right?”

“It was really ugly, John. I couldn’t control myself.” Sherlock said sincerely.

John laughed. “It’s a good thing I love you then, isn’t it?”

“It is.” Sherlock said and leaned in for another kiss.

They didn’t get to the Chinese food until late, but they did enjoy a ritualistic burning of the ugly jumper in the fireplace while snuggled naked in Sherlock’s bedding drinking Molly’s wine. All in all it was the best Christmas either of them ever had.


End file.
